I'm trying a change of strategy here.
All my life I've been rather factual when talking about my current condition. I would say "Things are ok, but this and that are not working. I'm surviving this and that; it's been a rollercoaster." I'm still reluctant to give in to "the law of attraction" but I'll say this: When I'm preoccupied with negativity, criticism and anger, there is little room for anything else to happen. There is little room for the conversation to be about anything positive. Grudge. Envy. Choke. Injustice. Rage - these are the words that spring to mind in that narrative.
So the new endeavor is flip the sentiment on its head: First, gratitude for what I have and been having and spend so little time acknowledging. Second, gratitude for everyone around me. And third, provoking the good side of life by actions like complimenting others, choosing good memories over bad ones, or taking myself lightly. I'm hoping that with this, there is less and less room for conversation about the negative, and more about the positive. Mind you, I needn't be in denial when I'm headed for the iceberg. But maybe what I am saying is this: I wanna be efficient with the mishaps rather than a dweller. I wanna fail fast, get up and dust myself off with a smile. "Wasn't that the sight!"
There is a thin line between comedic self-deprecation and actual self-blame. The latter - calling oneself names or seeing oneself as a shit companion (we are in our own company 100% of the time) - never actually helps. It's like a bad teacher swinging his cane against his fearful student. A much better teacher is one that finds a promising quality about that student to start with. That better teacher has enough room to love his student, and stick with him no matter how impatient the onlookers may be. Eventually, that student will shine with confidence, will "get doing" and will have much bigger chances of good things coming his way.
I am the teacher. I am the student.